This is because man was made to be in relationship with God. But because man strives to establish his being in relationship with a non-God, the consequence of this adulterous relationship is despair.

To bolster this foundational truth, Soren Kierkegaard in his work, The Sickness Unto Death, offers two equally important premises. First, a person's worth is determined by the measure used. Second, what measure is used determines a person's life goals. In Kierkegaard's words: "[E]verything is qualitatively that by which it is measured, and that which is its qualitative criterion is ethically its goal." (p.79)

Taking all this into account, sinners find themselves in the greatest existential predicament. That is, they are made to be what they do not want to be (i.e., married to God: a spiritual being that prays, contemplates eternity, and worships God in His limitless possibilities), and want to be what they were not meant to be (an animal driven by earthly desires). (p.105)

Stated differently, a sinner's despair derives from the gap between what he wants to be:

* society's professional where the measure of a person's worth is worldly prestige;
* someone's lover where the measure is earthly affection;
* or a good son or daughter where the measure is meeting the parents' expectations;

and what he is meant to be:

* God's adopted child where the measure is Christ's imputed beauty.

A sinner's struggle to widen this gap by exchanging his criterion of worth is despair. His attempt to divorce God and marry a substitute (his parents, his job, his friends, his lover) results in despair precisely because such a radical change from a perfect spouse - patient, forgiving, accepting - to an imperfect one - not as patient, not as merciful, not as accepting - inevitably results in anxiety, disappointment, and resentment.

Since we were made for relationship with God, our expectations for unconditional love, acceptance, and approval remain infinite even though our finite idols cannot possibly meet them. Thus we experience despair. The main character in A Death of a Salesman, who offers his whole life to his company which then mercilessly rejects him as he gets older, illustrates this powerfully. A person cannot trade Christ for thirty pieces of silver without wanting to hang himself sooner or later. Imperfect people made for a perfect God cannot live free of despair with imperfect idols.

To summarize using Kierkegaard's typology, despair manifests itself in three kinds of people. The loser, whose criterion of worth is freedom, envies the successful for obtaining what he could not achieve, that is, more options in life. He is constantly depressed over how his life has turned out. The achiever, on the other hand, whose criterion of worth is worldly approval, is self-conscious about maintaining his esteemed status in society, always looking over his shoulder, reassuring himself that he is enjoying all that life has to offer. The middle class person, whose criterion of worth is security, is anxious about not failing so he never takes risks or dreams beyond what is certain. His despair is the least obvious because he is so content with mediocrity. In all three cases, it is important to recognize that there would be no resentment, anxiety, or disappointment if the person had remained in his relationship with God and measured the worth of his soul according to that relationship and not by his relationships with family, friends, or society. I elaborate on this point next.

2) The antidote for despair is faith

The antidote that Kierkegaard offers for despair is Christianity, that is, to be the beloved of God - His adopted child, His bride - which is what every human being made in the image of God is meant to become. (p.85) "That the self in being itself and in willing to be itself rests transparently in God." (p.83) This was famously confessed by St. Augustine centuries earlier: "Thou hast made us for Thyself, oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You."

So when the achiever believes he can be a child of God, he never has to worry about proving his worth to society, his family, or his friends ever again. Anxieties over keeping his esteemed position are swallowed up by his security in the highest position possible. His being is no longer tied with his status, his job, his car, or his wife's looks or background. His worth comes solely from being a child of God, a position that he does not have to earn, or ever have to worry about losing. Consequently, he has the confidence and freedom to do what others look down on. Moreover, he no longer feels like boasting about infinitely lesser achievements. For unlike non-God relationships, the achiever's worth is measured not by what he does or has but by what God alone has done for him in Christ. Therefore the achiever can just be because his value is no longer determined by what he does or owns. He can do his best without having to be the best. He can take into account criticism of his work or rebuke of his behavior without taking it personally. He can just work without the oppressive feeling that his life depends on it. Suicide is no longer a real option when he has lost his job or his loved one. For Christ is his life.

When the loser believes he can be a child of God, disappointments over not achieving his dreams or meeting others' expectations, anxieties over needing to be a respected professional, or resentment over others looking down on his economic status become overshadowed by a new criterion for his worth, that is, those based on his relationship with God. Thus the temptation to lie, cheat, or steal is no longer as strong because everything else pales in comparison to what he already is in Christ. Expectations no longer have a stranglehold on him because his being is no longer established by meeting them. He can be content with doing his best even if the world considers his efforts to be of little value. For he can never be too incapable, too disrespectable, or too low to lose his infinitely high position as God's adopted child. The parable of the prodigal son illustrates this truth beautifully. (Luke 15:11-31)

When the middle class person believes he can be a child of God, he no longer has to be afraid of dreaming big, of taking risks with his status, or of being seen as a loser. He is already somebody beyond one's wildest dreams. Thus any lesser goal he fails to achieve no more diminishes his status as a child of God than did Abraham Lincoln's failure to win eight elective offices diminish his status as the greatest president in U.S. history. One can be the biggest failure, most looked down upon outcast, and still be the envy of the world as a child of God.

This essay was excerpted from a longer book review. See also David Powlison's profound article on idolatry.